Miracle #2
November 11, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
I was awake when the tech from x-ray arrived. “I beat you this morning,” I said, laughing.
“Believe me, you’re the exception, not the rule, especially this early,” he replied. “Ready to go?”
“Yep, let’s get this over with. I’ve got a busy day planned.” He confirmed my identity and off I went – again.
As we got onto the elevator, I asked, “so why are they doing this EVERY day?”
“Gotta make sure the fluid’s not building up any more,” he answered. But with all the medication they had begun to dump in my body, there was nothing that was going to build up. We reached the radiology hallway, he locked my wheels, and turned to go. “May take me a little longer today,” he said, “we’re short-handed.”
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I had to learn to bring a book with me. Sure enough, that day’s little adventure would take almost an hour before I even had the x-rays taken. It’s not like my dance card was full; still, sitting in a basement hallway with next-to-nothing on at 6 a.m. is not my idea of a good time.
Upon arriving back to the room, I found my breakfast waiting on me. Powdered eggs, some toast, black coffee and fresh fruit. It wasn’t what I was used to, but it would do. I knew I had started losing weight; how much, I didn’t know. It would only take two weeks for me to lose 30 pounds (ah, that diabetic diet!), including the fluid that had made believe I was just getting fat.
Belinda came in around 11. “You feeling all right, today?” she asked.
“I’m a little sore from yeserday’s exploration,” I replied, “but really ready to get this over with.”
“I don’t think they’re going to let you out of here any time soon,” she said. “You DO realize how sick you are, don’t you?”
“I’m beginning to,” I answered. “Thank God John has been through this before with his mom, and already knows the drill, although quite frankly, he’s not telling me a lot.”
“‘Probably best to keep it a surprise,” she laughed. “The less you know right now, the better.”
“Speak of the devil,” I said. The door opened and John came in with some mail and more material to read.
“This is from Jennifer,” he said, “she said she couldn’t get here, she’d send a reminder to you anyway. She’ll be visiting on Sunday after church.” I looked through the bag at the magazines, and oddly, a box of Bazooka bubble gum.
“What’s the gum for?” I asked.
“She said that would keep you from going crazy,” he replied, “although I told her it was a little late for that. Oh, by the way. I have some more good news.”
Belinda spoke up. “You need me to step outside while you guys talk?” she asked.
“No, stay here,” he motioned. “I’ve so far talked to the cardiologist, the anesthiologist and the surgeon, and they’re all reducing their fees.” He paused. “I know we’re going to be good, now.”
“That’s wonderful!” I exclaimed. “I don’t know how you’re doing this, but I know I couldn’t do it without you.”
“What most people don’t know,” he continued, “is that this is available to everybody. If you don’t have coverage, you can negotiate the fees up front; most physicians will at least reduce their charges, especially with so many people without health insurance.”
“Somebody needs to advertise that,” Belinda quipped. “Something’s got to be done.”
So there we were, the Three Musketeers, waiting on the next chapter of this great adventure. Two days earlier I had been stressed and worried sick that the end was near – now I could see, clearly, that it really was a new beginning.
Miracle #1
November 2, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
I was awakened the next morning by an orderly with a wheelchair. “Time to go downstairs,” he mumbled. “Let me check your I.D.”
I gave him my arm. “It’s me,” I said, adding “can I brush my teeth first?”
“Sure,” he responded, “I’ll wait in the hall.” He turned to leave.
“You don’t have to go,” I said. “This’ll only take a minute.”
I finished at the sink and plopped into the chair. “Ready to go – let’s hit it.” He rolled me into the hall, downstairs, and locked the wheels. “I’ll be back for you shortly,” he said, walking away from me.
The x-ray went well; I was back in the room within 30 minutes. As I started my morning clean-up, the phone rang. It was John.
“Hey, there, how’re you doing this morning?”
“I didn’t sleep much, but I’m fine,” I said. “I have no idea what’s on the agenda today.”
“Well, before you get too busy, I’m coming in and and I want you to do me a favor,” he said, a little hesitation in his voice.
“What’s that?”
“I’m going to be bringing a bunch of your checks with me, and I want you to sign them.”
I laughed. “Sure, I’ll sign them, but there’s nothing in the account, so I wouldn’t plan a trip to the Bahamas.”
“It’s not for that, and I can’t explain it to you now. Just trust me. I’m not going to be there much today, but I’ll explain everything when I get back sometime this afternoon.”
“O.K.,” I said. “If I have to leave the room, I’ll give you a call and let you know.”
Sure enough, it hadn’t been a half hour before the cardiologist came bouncing in. “I’ve scheduled a heart catherization for 1:00 today, so we can find out what’s going on with you and how blocked your system is,” he explained. “You won’t be asleep; we’ll have you in ‘twilight’ for most of the procedure.”
“I know this is a stupid question, but how much will it hurt?” I asked, sounding like an 8 year old.
“You’ll probably be sore for a couple of days,” he replied. “I’ll go in through the groin area and move all the way up to your heart to check things out. You’ll be back in the room in no time.” He checked my breathing and walked to the door. “Don’t worry, you’re going to be fine,” he assured me.
Another nurse came in to prep me and ready me for the cath. “‘Ever had one of these before?” she asked, trying to establish some conversation.
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“Nope,” I said, “this is all new to me.” She quickly finished up, and it wasn’t long before I was on a gurney heading to cardiac surgery. I don’t recall any pain throughout the procedure, though the doctor had problems seeing all he needed. Apparently, the veins in my legs were also clogged, and he had found it necessary to try one leg, then the other, and finally my wrist to complete the cath. I had bandages all over me by the time I reached the room.
John was waiting on me. “Everything go o.k.?” he asked. He helped me put some sweats on and onto the bed. “I’ve got great news,” he said, and then he started to cry.
“What’s going on?” I asked. “I’m o.k.” I paused. “Don’t worry about me. They haven’t even started yet.
“No, it’s not that,” he stumbled. He paused. “As you know, the hospital has a department for Patient Services. I went to see them today to ask for help.” Another pause. “They’re going to look at your situation, and there’s a chance they may write-off the whole hospital bill.”
Then I started crying. “That’s wonderful!” I shouted.
He continued. “Well, even if they don’t write off the whole thing, it will at least give you a lower bill.” He walked to the window. “And another thing,” he continued. “I’ve been to each doctor’s office and negotiated their fees. Apparently with the economy the way it is, they’re seeing a lot of this.” He walked back to the bed and hugged me. “See there? We’ll find a way, somehow. Oh, by the way,” he remembered, “I called Belinda and asked her to come tomorrow, when I thought you’d be feeling better.”
“I can’t believe what you’ve told me,” I said. “I’m on Cloud 9 after that news.”
Heart Disease 101 – The First Day Done!
October 23, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
John had returned from dinner the night before just long enough to say good-bye. “I’ll be back in the morning,” he said, “I’ve got a lot to do, so I may be a little late.”
“Take your time,” I said, “you don’t need to burn out the first week.” As he opened the door to leave, a nurse came in pulling her stats cart.
“Take care of him,” he said, waving to me as he started down the hall.
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“‘Here for more stats,” the nurse said. She looked at her watch. “It’s almost 10:00,” she continued, “would you like something to help you sleep?”
I chuckled. “Unless you have a sledge hammer, I’m not sure anything would do the trick.” “Besides,” I added,” all I’ve done is sit around today.”
“I’ll call the doctor to find out what’s available, just in case,” she replied. “This has been a pretty exciting day for you.”
“Coronary heart disease was certainly NOT on my list of things to deal with,” I added. “Nor having to choose whether I want to be part pig or part bionic.” The early signs of heart disease which had shown themselves began creeping back into my head. I wondered — how many others had no idea what their bodies were saying, shouting, to them?
I was also beginning to worry about the finances again. What was I going to do? I needed to win a lottery.
As the nurse removed the blood pressure cuff from my arm, she smiled. “I can tell what you’re thinking,” she said, “and it won’t do any good at all to dwell on it. You’re stats are fine, you’re young and in relatively good health,” she continued, “so as much as you can, relax. The doctor will tell me what I can give you.”
“Nothing strong,” I replied. “I’m a wimp when it comes to medication.” She placed the oxygen tube coming from the wall next to me on the bed. “Don’t forget you can use this, if need be. I’ll be back in a little while with a snack and your pills.” My breathing had been intermittently labored all day.
“Turn to channel 18, if you’d like,” she continued. “There’s a lot of information and facts about heart disease you’ll need to know. There are also videos about valvular heart disease, how heart disease affects the body, what you can expect.”
“Thanks,” I answered. “‘Probably more important to watch those than “Survivor,” I laughed. “Although apparently that’s what I’M becoming.” She took her cart and left the room.
My cell phone rang and I reached to grab it. “Hello?” I said. It was Belinda.
“So are you settled in?” she asked.
“As much as I can be,” I said. “Who’d have thought I’d be getting new parts for what I thought was a respiratory infection?”
There was a pause. “I’m just glad you had the sense to go to the doctor before it became catastrophic. I’ll be in tomorrow to see you,” she added. “We can talk about it then. What time’s good for you?”
“Well, from what I’ve gathered, I’ll officially be up around 6 to get a chest x-ray. So how about 10 or 10:30? That way, I’ll have had time to clean up and have breakfast.”
“That’s good,” she answered. “Is John there?”
“He’s already left for the night, but you’ll probably see him tomorrow. Don’t know what I’d do without him. He’s got to work things out at his job, and he says he has some errands to run, so I’m not expecting him early.”
“Get some rest,” she continued, “I won’t keep you. Just remember there’s a reason for everything, and eventually you’ll know why all this is happening.”
“I’ll try,” I answered. We said goodbye and I put the phone down. “O.K. God,” I thought, “I’m ready for a miracle.”
I spent most of the night talking to myself, the Universe, Spirit, whatever you want to call it. The rubber was starting to hit the road, and I wasn’t about to give up this early in the game.
Back To The Business of Heart Disease
October 17, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
Dinner arrived, and though it looked appealing, there was very little seasoning, and everything had that “healthy” vibe going through it. No chocolate, no salt, no anything that would make your mouth water and your taste buds tingle!
“This is kinda bland,” I said, picking at the salmon.
“You have no idea what you’re up against, do you?” John asked. “Your diet’s about to change drastically, at least for the time being.” He continued. “I’m concerned, though, that they’re trying to make you a diabetic, when you’re not in here for the “typical” heart problem conditions.”
“Oh well,” I answered, “at least my appetite’s come back a little.” I ate quietly, glad to have some solid food in me after such a long day.
“I’ve got to find something, myself,” John said. “I’m going downstairs and will be back in a little while.”
“Why don’t you go on home?” I asked. “‘No need to wear yourself out the first day.”
“Look,” he replied, “you’re my main priority now, and remember, I’ve been through this before. You may not know it, but you need a watchdog to keep these docs in line.” He laughed. “Remember, I WORKED here for 5 years – between that and my mom’s history, I can keep this thing on track.” I had no idea how important that statement would become.
“O.K., O.K.,” I answered. “But promise me you’ll go home early.” He left the room, and I got up and moved to the chair. The room telephone rang, and I scrambled to answer it.
“Lynn,” I heard my minister, Rev. Patty say, “how’re you feeling?”
“Well,” I answered, “a little shaken, but I’m not down yet.”
“John called me earlier, and as much as I want to be there, I have a respiratory infection and am afraid to come down right now.” She continued. “I’ve already got the chaplains praying for you, and I’ll be there just as soon as I’m a little better.”
“Thanks, Rev,” I replied. “But no rush. I’m not even sheduled for surgery, you’ll probably have a lot of time to visit. And about that infection, might I suggest you get to the doctor as soon as possible? You see where mine lead.”
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“Can I speak to John?” she asked. “I want to check on him, too. Oh, and by the way, Jennifer’s coming to see you.”
I love Jennifer. She’s our small church’s Music Director, and if God is ever been expressed through anyone, it’s her. “Can’t wait to see her,” I answered. “I’ll have John call you when he gets back from dinner.”
“You let me know if you need anything,” she continued. “And know we all love you and are praying for you.” We said our goodbyes and I hung up the phone.
It’s amazing how when you ask for something, focus on it, and are patient enough to listen to the answers you receive, things start to happen. The minister called, the Music Director was on her way, I WAS loved and protected! And I had no idea what miracles were about to reveal themselves!
There’s No Place Like Home
October 2, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
I picked up the menu that had been left on the nightstand. I wasn’t hungry, but I knew it would probably take an hour to get anything from downstairs; I’d already heard the rumors. My appetite had returned, unlike my lunch experience, and I had a feeling, for some unknown reason, that things were going to work our.
Just as I picked up the phone, the door opened and in came John with two shopping bags. “I brought everything I could think of,” he said, “but I’m sure you’ll think of a few more.” He smiled and dropped one of the bags on the bed. “Your sweats are in here,” he explained, “and I brought your moccasins.”
“Not a moment too soon,” I answered. “One more hour in this gown, and they’d have to move me to the psych ward.”
“Anything happen while I was gone?” he asked, taking things from the other bag and putting them away.
“Not a lot, just an x-ray. I was just about to order dinner. I paused. “‘Looks pretty good, for hospital food.”
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“It will be for the first few days,” he chuckled. “I wish they hadn’t put you on a restricted diet, though.”
I dialed the kitchen and placed my order. Grilled salmon, spinach salad, the omnipresent fruit gelatin, a beverage and yogurt for dessert. This didn’t seem so bad.
John sat in the lounge chair and grabbed the remote. He turned on the TV and started flipping through the channels. “At least they have cable,” he said, “so you’ll have some variety.”
“How long you think I’ll be here?” I asked. “I was just about to click my heels together and head back to visit with Auntie Em,” I laughed.
“I don’t think it’s going to be quite that easy,” John chuckled. “Since you’re not on the surgery schedule, I’m thinking you may be here awhile.”
It wasn’t long before Randy entered the room. “Time for vitals again,” she said, pulling her cart up to the bed. She glanced at John. “Are you his partner?” she asked.
“Yep, that’s me,” he answered. He stood and extended his hand. “I’m John. And you are?”
“Randy,” she answered. “I’ll be his primary day nurse while he’s here. “Oh,” she paused, “I spoke with Dr. Johansen and he’ll be here sometime this evening.”
“Who’s that?” I asked, trying to get all the physicians in my head as they appeared.
“He’s your surgeon,” she replied. “They’re planning on doing a heart cath tomorrow sometime.”
“Well, let the fun begin,” I murmured. She finished checking me over and adjusted my pillows.
“You’ll be fine,” she said. “They’re going to keep you here a few days beforehand to alleviate some of the fluid build-up.” She waived goodbye to John, took her cart behind her and left.
“Did you call work?” I asked.
“Yes,” he replied,” and I have a feeling you’re now unemployed.” Ah, so much for contract jobs. John grimaced. “I also called my boss, and was surprised to hear I am to make you my priority, and forget work until you’re better.”
“That’s great,” I answered, “at least for you. But are they aware this could go on for awhile?” I continued. I got this strange sensation while you were gone,” I said. “Like there’s a reason for all of this.”
“Yes,” John said, “the reason is to get you well so you can live normally again. Don’t worry, I’ll be here every step of the way. I don’t know how work is going to handle it, but Rosemary said not to worry – just to keep her in the loop.” There are some advantages to being an executive. He had secured a position with a national non-profit, Vice President of Internal Auditing. After over 20 years in the field, he knew just about everything there was to know about keeping track of companies and expenses.
“I guess that’s just Part One of my dream,” I said. “We don’t have to be concerned about you.” I paused. “Maybe this is a lesson for both of us,” I added. “Maybe we’ve been looking at things all wrong.”
“I’ve got some ideas for you,” John replied. But I have to let them stew awhile. I’m like you; I know we’re going to be fine.”
“Isn’t that funny,” I commented. This dream I had,” I paused. ”It’s like my life is about to change completely; like I have no control over it.” I continued. “I’m protected, shouldn’t worry, and there’s big change coming. I don’t know how, or where, or when, I just know it’s not far away. And the strange thing is, I keep getting that I’m supposed to help somebody.”
John got up and walked to the bed. “Well, first, this is just a bump in the road. A pretty big bump, but a bump nonetheless. ” He motioned for me to sit up and started untying the gown. “We’re going to get through this, and as soon as you get into those sweats, you can begin by helping me.: He laughed. “Rub my neck and shoulders. This stress is getting to me.”
A Promise I Had To Keep
September 23, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
So there I was, sitting in a cardiac care unit suite, and in came another lovely nurse to poke, prod and stick me. A new IV port accessorized my hand, I had a blood pressure cuff on my right arm, again (the good one, the one that still has lymph nodes after the Hodgkins), and an oxygen tube resting gently in my nose. And to think, all I had wanted was to breathe a little easier! As Betty Davis so aptly put it, “buckle your seat belt; it’s going to be a bumpy ride.”
“That’s it for now,” she said. “Get some rest, I’ll be back a little later.” I managed a weak “Thank You” as she walked out the door. Settling back onto the bed, I adjusted my gown (why is it we all have to wear those blasted gowns that don’t cover up ANYTHING?)
I had been lying there only minutes when a young guy in blue scrubs entered the room, pushing a wheel chair. “Time for your x-rays,” he said. “Could I have your full name and birth date?”
Confused, I asked, “didn’t you see my chart?”
“Hospital rules,” he responded. “I have to make sure it’s you.” Little did I know this routine was to be played out every time I sneezed, and x-rays would be a daily routine each morning at 6 a.m.
I repeated my info and leaned up. “I can walk,” I said.
“No, you can’t,” he answered. “Hospital rules. Need help into the chair?” he asked.
“No, I’m fine,” I answered, trying more to convince myself than the tech. I should’ve known that my stubborn streak was no match for this whole procedure.
He rolled me down to Radiology in the basement, then locked the wheels. “I’ll be back to pick you up,” he mumbled as he walked down the hallway.
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I thanked him and looked around. Two people were on gurneys, hooked up to all kinds of wires and bottles. Another, like me, sat in a wheelchair and occasionally moaned, obviously in pain. Another new experience.
After two pics, and 25 minutes, the tech appeared again and rolled me back to the cardiac unit. “See you tomorrow,” he said, as I hopped out of the chair. “I’ll be here,” I answered, trying to make light of this new development.
I plopped into one of the chairs in the room, and flipped on the TV. Headline News announced the economy was still tetering, stock market lost again, Afghanistan was worse than anyone suspected – the usual stuff.
I adjusted my gown (AGAIN!), then experienced a strange sensation. An epiphany, I was fraught with confusion. I had asked for some guidance, but surprised it had come so quickly! I turned off the TV, closed my eyes, and like magic, I instantly had visions of why I was there! What I “saw” was overwhelming! It was no surprise that this little episode was the beginning of a brand new chapter in my life, but the fact that it was one I was to have very little control over blew my mind! What came through was that I was there to help people.
Now you might wonder, as I did, how I was going to help anyone in my current state, awaiting new “heart parts.” I awoke from stupor and shook my head. “I must be losing my mind!” I murmured.
However, the energy had been high; the message clear! No more Corporate jobs shuffling paper, answering phones, getting through the day. No more wondering where the money was to come from, how I was to “pay the bills,” or get ready for the retirement I had subconscously decided was never to be. I had been charged with a Mission-the tricky part was I had no idea what the Mission was!
And how was I to get the answer? Well, from my previous spiritual training, I knew the solution would be through meditation and prayer, and quite honestly, I was a little rusty in both areas! I laid my head back, closed my eyes and promised, “O.K. God, whatever you want, I’ll do. But you’ve got to tell me what — and how.”
It was then I remembered something odd. An old movie starring Burt Reynolds, “The End,” in which he is diagnosed with six months to live. He decides to end it all, and as I sat there, I remembered a scene in which he was swimming out to sea with the goal of drowning himself to prevent the inevitable. After swimming 100 yards or so, out of breath, the character realizes how foolish he’s being, and begins swimming back. As he returns to shore, he’s shouting, “O.K. God, if you let me live I’ll give you everything I own.” As he gets closer to shore, the “everything” becomes “half,” “some,” until finally he admits he’ll learn how to pray and treat everyone he meets fairly (or something close to that.)
I laughed. Aren’t we all a little like that, I thought? I was self-assured and pompous until I NEEDED something – now I had to learn how to reconnect!
And The World Goes ‘Round…
September 18, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
The PA lead me down a corridor into another building, and to the cardiac floor of the hospital. The room was nice, private. “You can get comfortable at your leisure; the nurse will be in shortly to finish checking you in.”
I walked to the window, which thankfully had a view of trees, the entrance portico to the hospital and a nice seating area right outside the doors. John joined me. “Don’t worry, Sweet Pea, it’ll be all right.”
“I’ll go home and get whatever you need,” he continued. “They probably won’t do much today, anyway.” I quickly wrote down a list of things I had to have – sweat pants and tee shirts, socks, tennis shoes, toiletries, and some books and magazines. “You won’t be gone long, will you?” I asked, trying not to sound petrified.
“Just as long as it takes with traffic,” he answered. He turned and was gone.
Now there I was for who knew how long, laughing to myself to think that a “respiratory infection” had turned into so much more — so quickly. Suddenly the issue of financing all this wasn’t the prominent issue; of more concern was what was going to be done with me, and how long all this would take. I knew they’d have to squeeze me in, since I wasn’t on the surgery schedule. That could take days! And then there was the boredom of being cooped up in this pretty, albeit tiny room. “Maybe,” I said to myself, “it’s time to find religion again.” I was more frightened than I’d ever been, even though from the looks of the cardiac unit, there were 100’s of us in the same boat. Little did I know there were 80,000,000 people in the U.S. alone, daily facing this condition.
Logically, I knew literally 1,000’s of people were in my predicament every day, although this was me! The one who had survived Hodgkins Disease, and believed I’d never have to be in a hospital again. And now ironically, Hodgkins had been the culprit causing my current visit.
I sat on the bed, and in between the bells ringing in the hallway and the shuffling noises up and down the hall, I began to pray.
I had just gotten quiet and settled in when a nurse entered the room. “Hi, I’m Randy, and I’ll be your nurse today.” She tugged a small cart behind her with lots of equipment on it. “I’m going to get your vitals,” she continued, “then I’ll need you to take off your clothes and put on a gown. They’ll be up to get you in a few minutes.”
I gasped. “You guys don’t waste any time, do you?” I asked. “So what are they going to do?”
“Oh, just a couple chest x-rays,” she answered. “You’ll be back up in time for dinner. The menu’s on the table there,” she added.
She rolled the cart to my bedside, took my blood pressure, temperature, checked for a pulse in my legs and feet, then wrote something down in my chart. “You don’t have much circulation going on down there,” she added. “We’ll change all that.”
She explained the menu selections, adding that I would now be on a “Diabetic Diet” until further notice. I could order anything on the available menu I wanted, up to a point. If I went “over” my allowance in a certain category, they would refuse my request. “I’ll be back a little later to check on you,” she said, taking her cart and pulling it out the door behind her.
I looked at the ceiling. “O.K. God,” I said, “I’ll do everything I can to make this work; just let me know what I need to do.” It had been awhile since I recognized the power of telling the Universe what you wanted; now would be the test to see if I was still connected.
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Valvular Heart Disease
September 12, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
Though it seemed like hours, in only a few minutes the doctor arrived with his assistant. “Hi,” he said, “I’m Dr. Warren,” he paused. “You’re a very sick man,” he added, “but the good news is that we’ve figured out what’s going on and you’re going to be fine.” He looked way too serious.
“So what’s up?” I said, trying to remain light and nonchalant.
“Apparently,” he continued,” when you had Hodgkins Disease, some 20 years ago, the radiation treatment began a process of calcifying your aortic valve.”
“So what’s that mean?” I asked. “This obviously isn’t a respiratory infection,” I added, trying to remain calm.
“Well, think of it this way,” the doctor continued, “it’s like your heart is trying to pump a firehose full of water through the eye of a needle. The valve has a gateway, a “flap,” which is no longer opening and closing properly to let blood flow correctly. Instead of three flaps on the valve, you in effect have two, neither of them healthy.
“This malfunction is causing your veins and arteries to “sweat” and form water in the area surrounding your heart and your chest. Hence, you’re having trouble breathing.”
I looked at John, observing the blood had drained from his face.
“We’re going to have to replace your aortic valve, and you may need a double bypass, depending on the blockage you have in your heart” he said, as if he was telling me I had a cold.
“What?” I shouted, in shock and feeling my face turning red.
“Calm down,” my partner John said. “Pay attention and listen,” as if I was 6 years old.
“Oh, and one more thing,” he continued, “you also a small hole in your heart, an Atrial Septal Defect, existing since birth, but with no symptoms. We’ll go ahead and fix that, too.”
Shocked, I closed my eyes. This wasn’t happening to me.
“So what’s the next step?” I asked.
His assistant spoke up. “Your room’s going to be ready in about an hour. You two might want to go get some lunch and then come back.”
The doc added, “we’ll try to get you into surgery over the next couple of days; in the meantime, we can start treating the congestive heart failure.” He shook my hand, turned to John and smiled. “We’ll get him back into shape,” shook his hand and left the room.
The door closed, I burst into tears. “How am I going to pay for this?” I said. Forget the $50 office visit from the morning, I was now staring at possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars!
“That’s not important,” John recanted. “We’re going to fix it – that’s all. Yes, we’ll fix it. You can’t go on living like this. It’s not living.” He was referring I’m sure to my shortness of breath while going up the stairs at our 3-level home, suffocation while lying down and not being able to sleep, and a horrible inability to walk, even through a supermarket.
We left the exam room and headed to the hospital cafeteria for something to eat, although I had completely lost my appetite! I picked at the food on my plate, while John ate very little of what he’d gotten. “Guess I had better call work,” I offered. “Which means probably the end of the job.”
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When we returned to the doctor’s office, another assistant met us in the hallway. “Ready to go?” she asked.
“Not really,” I quipped, “but I guess you’re not letting me out of here.”
“I’m afraid not,” she said. “But don’t worry, lots of people have this procedure, all the time.” I felt like a trapped animal, and the zookeepers had me in their sites.
I limped to the hospital room (admission had already been taken care of), having to stop several times to rest (it seemed a mile from one place to the other).
“Just think, you won’t have to worry about this interval resting any more,” John said. “Won’t that be wonderful?”
“Oh yeah,” I replied, “I’m so excited.”
Trapped
September 6, 2009 by Daniel · Leave a Comment
As we left the cardiologist’s office, Dr. M appeared overly serious. “I’m not sure what you have,” he said, “since I’m a Family Physician, I’ve got a general idea, however this is more than a murmur. I have scheduled you an appointment downtown at 1:00 today to meet with a great cardiologist. He’s at the hospital for surgery today, but I’ve pulled a few strings and he’s agreed to see you now.”
“You think it’s that serious?” I asked.
“We’ve put this off as long as possible,” the doctor replied. “It’s time to get to the bottom of it. After looking at the test results, I’d be really negligent to let this go. I’m afraid you have some type of hypertensive heart disease. At any rate, it’s time to get some effective treatment. Be downtown at 1:00; I’ll talk with you later to check in.”
The elevator door opened, he walked in and turned around. “We’ll get you fixed up, don’t worry,” he said, as the doors closed.
I was walking to the car before I realized that no one had asked me to pay the bill, not in my family doctor’s office, nor when I spoke briefly to the cardiologist’s assistant. “Oh well,” I thought, “I’m sure they’ll bill me.” Whatever it was, this was more than a respiratory infection.
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I got in the car, called my partner, and announced the news. “I’m on my way home, I’ll meet you there,” he suggested. “We can take one car to the appointment this afternoon.” The concern in his voice was evident, and I should’ve known I was in for it since he’d left a voice mail for me earlier in the morning. “Where are you?” it said. “Something must be going on — I can’t find you. Call me as soon as you can — I need to know what’s going on.”
I hung up and called my friend, Belinda, to fill her in on the news. We had been close friends for 25 years; she’d survived cancer three times in the time I had known her; I had survived Hodgkins Lymphoma once. Over the years, we had developed quite a bond.
“I’ll keep you posted,” I said as we finished the conversation. “I’m sure it’s not much of anything.” You know, Denial is an awfully wide and long river!
John and I walked into the doctor’s office at 12:50. Oddly, I thought, we were immediately ushered to an exam room where a Nurse Practitioner began wiring me for sound. “We’re going to do a quick EKG,” she said, “Dr. Warren is reading your echocardiogram now.”
Neither I nor John were prepared for what happened next! He’d been awfully quiet until now, and I hadn’t thought anything of it; he wasn’t a real chatter, anyway. I sudenenly realized his mother had gone through major heart surgery and had ultimately passed away from complications a long and painful nine years later. “You think there’s more to this, don’t you?” I asked.
“Let’s wait and see what the doc says,” he said.
Taking It To Heart
August 28, 2009 by Daniel · 4 Comments
“Life Is A Banquet, And Most Poor Fools Are Starving To Death.” Rosalind Russell, Auntie Mame, 1958
Have you ever had that deep-down, excited feeling that something in your life was about to change, you just didn’t know what? Well, have I got a story for you….
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For those who have experienced major change, either through failing health, finances, family dynamics or accident, I’ll go on record believing the 2nd biggest event in my life qualifies as the most dynamic, energy-shifting circumstance imaginable, and though it wasn’t a knock on my door from Publisher’s Clearing House, the changes it has delivered are irrefutable, permanent, and I can’t help but thank God each and every time I think of them.
Caught as a Baby Boomer in the Corporate revolving door (as millions of others), I’ve had no golden parachute, no health insurance, no savings, and only contract jobs as opportunities for employment since the late 90’s.
“Flying without a net,” I’ve learned some things are completely out of my control; I’ve had to turn to another Source for my benefit. I’ve had to move past the fear, discard old beliefs that did not serve me, and “float like a butterfly” to grow and change for over a decade.
That job my parents promised would be there after college graduation, you know, the one I was supposed to float through for 25 years never materialized, and like so many others, I’ve been laid off, down-sized, company sold, company closed 10 times in as many years.
I digress — about 6 months ago, I got a sign that things were definitely about to change! Little did I know that an urgent message from inside me would be the catalyst to propel me into a brand new, wonderful existence!
Now, before you think I’ve completely lost any semblance of sanity, please let me explain a little further….
Men’s and women’s heart disease is now the Number 1 killer of people living in the United States, and the estimated costs to Americans in 2009 will reach or exceed $304.6 billion, including health care services, medications, and lost productivity, according to the latest CDC statistics.
Coronary heart disease affects not only the patient, but every member of their family, either directly through genetic inheritance, or indirectly through financial stress (read “ increasing bankruptcy”) and uncertainty.
My own father suffered a stroke at 42, spending the rest of his days (19 years) in a nursing home. A successful dentist, he fell victim to many of the common causes of coronary heart disease; no exercise, high blood pressure and obesity.
And yet even in this day of information saturation, a majority of Americans continue to do all the wrong things, and expect to get the right results. Many don’t know, or recognize, the symptoms of heart disease, and ignore a potentially deadly symptom until it’s too late for treatment. Believe me, this is not something that will just “go away” because you think it should.
I’m one of the lucky ones! After surviving Hodgkins Disease 25 years ago (I wrote a book about that one, the beginning of my transformation), I was given another chance, which I can add has been lived fully and productively!
I’m now known as “Kitty” to a few of my friends, since to date, I’m on my third “incarnation.”. And to be honest, that’s o.k. by me, I’ve got six more to go!
Congestive Heart Failure and Other Confusing Names
Just the term instills terror! Add that one to terms such as Mitral Valve Synapse, Angina, Hematoma, Arythmia, Pulmonary Stenosis, and of course, the laymen’s terms, Heart Attack, Stroke, High Blood Pressure, and High Cholesterol, and it’s no wonder people don’t spend hours learning what may be going on in their bodies. I was no different.
Early one morning about six months ago, I awoke and was unable to catch my breath. I’d been fighting a “cold” for about a month, but just to be safe, I phoned my family physician the next morning and scheduled an immediate appointment. “Ah,” I thought as I went about slowly getting ready, “another respiratory infection to take care of.”
Upon arriving, I was ushered into the examination room, thinking the visit would end with a prescription and doctor’s instruction to rest for a few days. I received a “breathing treatment” from the Physician’s Assistant, only to discover upon completion that the physician had been busy “working me in” to the cardiologist’s office on the next floor!
The heart murmur, and a previously detected congenital, ventricular septal defect (a small hole located in the ventricle of my heart) had become increasingly worse since my visit 6 months prior, and upstairs I went, in tow by my doctor, to have an echocardiogram - immediately!
“You’re not getting out of my sight!” the doc explained. “We’re getting to the bottom of this – today.”
Reluctantly I entered the exam room, disrobed and sat on the table, all the while thinking to myself, “Who’s going to pay for this?” Though I’d had the funds to pay for an office visit, I was certain I DIDN’T have the money to pay for this test!
The technician entered the room, and after running a wand over my greasy, slathered chest gathering images, I was done. “You can get dressed now,” she explained. “Dr. M will be with you shortly.”
What happened next is nothing less than a Miracle! Join me as I share the process and information on how I survived (both mentally and financially), and tips on what you can proactively do to prevent becoming another statistic! Please join me to find out how you can become informed, aware, and productive in your healthy heart life!
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